Beyond Repair?
by CrazedSVUFan
Summary: When Olivia is raped in an alley, she doesn't want anyone to know for fear of being treated like a victim. When Elliot finds out, Olivia's job is on the line. Should he betray Olivia's trust and get her the help she needs, or should he keep his word about not telling anyone, and risk her losing her job?
1. The Rape

As she walked down the steps of the courthouse, she couldn't help feeling a bit of joy. Despite having to spend the day with a murder victim's family, she was happy to have been a part of the team that got her justice. With her mind on this, and this only, Olivia Benson walked to the sidewalk. She wasn't paying attention to the man following her about ten feet away, that is, until he grabbed her and pulled her into an alley. She reached for her gun and realized it wasn't there. She tried to scream, but his hand was already over her mouth. He pulled her down to the ground and ripped off her pants. She was helpless. Helpless, as he unbuckled his belt. Helpless, as he raped her and beat her until blood was covering her face. Helpless, as he ran off, with his hoodie, his gloves, his ski mask, and his identity. She sat there, crying, wondering what to do. She saw a cab. Maybe it was dark enough so that the driver wouldn't see her face. No, it was better to take the safer option and just go home. She covered up as well as she could, and she walked the next two blocks home. When she got home, she took a shower. He had used a condom anyways, and she didn't ever want to see him again. She didn't want anyone to know. Elliot, Finn, Munch, and Cragen would look at her as a victim, and not as a cop. She decided to call in sick in the morning. For now, cleanliness was the only thing on her mind. She took off her clothes, turned the shower on, and left it running for the next three hours.

Olivia woke up at five o'clock the next morning. For a second, everything was okay. Then, she remembered. She ran over to her mirror to see if there were any noticeable cuts or bruises. She decided to call in sick after she saw her face covered in bruises. Today was Friday, so she would have all weekend to heal too. She picked up her phone. She decided that if she was going to call in sick, she would have to play the part. She coughed and dialed her Captain's number.

"Captain Cragen, SVU,"

"Hey, Captain," Liv coughed "It's Liv,"

"Liv, are you okay? You sound sick,"

"Yeah, uh, could I take a sick day? I'm coming down with something, and this last case really got to me,"

"Uh, yeah, sure. Do you want me to send Elliot over to check on you?"

"No!" She immediately snapped. "I-I'm fine."

"Okay, well, see you Monday. Feel better!"

"Thanks Captain. I'll see you."


	2. The Discovery

**_AT THE PRECINCT_**

"Elliot! My office!" Cragen called, as he stuck his head out of the door to his office.

Elliot rushed into his captain's office. "What's up?" He asked.

"Uh, Liv called in sick,"

"Captain, Liv never calls in sick," Elliot replied.

"I know. Could you go check on her? See if she's alright?"

"Yeah, sure," Elliot said, as he jogged over to his desk, grabbed the keys to the car, and started on his way to Olivia's apartment.

When he to the building, he rang the buzzer. He heard Olivia's voice.

"Wh-Who is it?"

"It's Elliot,"

"I-I told Cragen not to send anyone,"

"I brought you some soup!" It wasn't a lie. He had stopped to get some soup for his partner.

"I'm really not that hungry," Olivia argued.

"Liv, by buzzing, I was being polite. I'll use my key if I have to,"

The door clicked open. He made his way up the elevator, and into Olivia's apartment, on the third floor. He knocked twice.

"Liv, open up!"

"I'm tired! Just leave the soup on the counter, and lock the door on your way out!"

He opened the door to the apartment and placed the soup on the counter. He made his way over to the bedroom and knocked on the door.

"Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"Come out!"

"No! I'm not decent!"

"Jesus, Liv! I just wanna make sure you're okay! Just cover up! I'm coming in!"

"No!" She screamed, as the door opened.

Olivia's swollen, black eyes stared directly into Elliot's.

"Oh my God! Olivia, what happened?!"

"Nothing. Now, you see I'm fine, so get out!"

"Liv, you're not fine! Have you been to a hospital?" He reached forward to take her by the hand, and she flinched.

"Liv…" He said.

"Get OUT!" She screamed, on the verge of tears.

"Olivia, I'm not leaving this apartment until you tell me what happened!"

"I was mugged!" She screamed. It was the quickest story that she could think of.

"Well, you still have to go to a hospital! Have you been?" He shouted back.

"Yes! I've been! They said I was fine with no major injuries!"

"Olivia, someone beat the crap out of you! You have NOT been to a hospital, 'cause they would have kept you overnight! At least let me make sure you don't have something major like internal bleeding or something!"

She hadn't thought about her injuries. She had only thought about the nurses and doctors calling the cops after discovering that she had damage to her private areas.

"Elliot, just leave me alone! God!" She screamed, as loud as she could; now crying.

"Liv, did something else happen?" He asked gently.

"No! I told you, someone mugged me!" She shouted.

"Liv, if you were mugged, you wouldn't be acting the way you're acting. What happened?" He repeated

"Nothing else!"

"Liv, WHAT HAPPENED?!"

"NOTHING!"

"LIV-"

"HE RAPED ME!" She exploded. "He raped me, and he beat me, and he left me in an alleyway!" She screamed.

Elliot was stunned. Olivia ran into his arms. She hugged him, and he wasted no time hugging her back.

"Liv, we have to go down to the precinct and tell Captain."

"No! He can never know! Not ever," She protested.

"Liv, if you tell him, he can have you talk to Huang, and you can heal!"

She looked at him with huge, sad eyes. "I'll never heal." She said.


	3. The Hospital

The car ride to the hospital was silent. Every once in a while, Elliot would look over at Olivia to make sure she was alright. Neither spoke a word until they reached the hospital.

As Elliot pulled into a parking space, Olivia said "Could you talk to the person at the front desk?"

"Yeah, sure," Elliot replied, without hesitation.

"Thanks."

"Uh, what do you want me to say?"

"Just tell them I was mugged, and I want to get checked out," Olivia answered.

After a moment, Elliot asked, "Did you see his face?"

"No, he was wearing a mask," Olivia's eyes had tears just from remembering this small, painful detail.

"Oh,"

They made their way into the hospital, and Elliot did as Olivia had asked and told the woman at the desk that his friend had been mugged and she wanted to get checked out. After catching a glimpse of Olivia, the woman told the pair that it would only be a few minutes, and they should have a seat. As they sat down in the crowded emergency room, Elliot couldn't help but notice that Olivia seemed on edge. He reached across the arm rest and slowly took her hand. She flinched ever so slightly, but as she realized it was just Elliot, she became more relaxed.

"Liv, it'll be okay,"

"Whatever," she said, pulling her hand away.

"Olivia Miller?" A voice called.

Olivia had insisted that Elliot put a fake name on the form they were given. She decided to pay out-of-pocket. She and Elliot both shot up out of their chairs and followed the nurse into a hospital room. A doctor walked in about 15 minutes later with a clipboard in his hand.

"I'm Dr. Harper. I understand you were mugged?" He said, as he reached is hand out to shake hers.

"Y-yes," She replied, looking terrified of his hand and not shaking it.

A confused look crossed the doctor's face. "Er, well, could you tell me what happened?"

"I j-just wanted to be examined. I don't want to press charges or anything," she replied.

"Why?"

"I just don't, okay? I don't think it's any of your business," she retorted, becoming impatient.

The doctor sighed. "Olivia, I need you to tell me where he hit you, so that I can make sure to double-check those places."

"You know, I think I'm fine. I'm just gonna go home."

"Nope!" said Elliot. "You're going to be here until the doctor says you are safe and okay,"

"Mr. Stabler, may I speak with you outside for a moment?" asked Dr. Harper.

"Uh, yeah, sure" he replied.

"Mr. Stabler-"

"Elliot"

"Elliot. Do you know what happened to Ms. Miller? She's not behaving like she was just mugged. She's behaving like something worse happened."

Elliot immediately felt uncomfortable. "Sir, I don't really think it's my place to tell you."

"Elliot, please. She came to a hospital. She obviously wants to get better! If we know what happened to her, we can offer physical and mental help for her to get back to normal as quickly as possible,"

"I, um, we are Special Victims Unit detectives. We're partners. She wasn't mugged, she was raped. She doesn't want anyone to know because she thinks they'll think of her as a victim, instead of a cop."

"Is Olivia Miller even her real name?"

"Uh, no. It's Olivia Benson," he told the doctor truthfully.

"Elliot, she needs help. You need to tell your captain or encourage her to."

"I know. She doesn't want him to know because she thinks that he'll somehow blame her,"

"I knew I couldn't trust you! I never should have told you! God, I hate you!" Olivia screamed, as she burst out of the hospital room. She ran down the hall, only to be caught by some nurses who were going the direction opposite of her. She screamed and kicked at the men until they brought her back into the hospital room, where she sat on the bed and cried.

"If you don't call your captain now, and tell him, I'll tell 1PP that Olivia is a danger to herself and others."

**Thanks for reading the first three chapters! I really appreciate reviews. Thank you to TheFallenAngela for leaving one. :) I'm probably going to put out chapter four tomorrow or Monday. Thanks again for reading, and please remember to leave a review!**


	4. The Story

Elliot's eyes grew to twice their normal size. "Fine. I'll tell him to come because we have a victim that he should see."

"Okay,"

Elliot picked up his phone and dialed Cragen's number.

"Captain Cragen, SVU. How can I help you?"

"Captain, it's Stabler,"

"How's Liv?"

"She's fine, but I got a call from a victim. Meet us at Mercy Hospital, room 240A."

"Why?"

"I'll explain when you get here."

Elliot hung up the phone. "Happy?"

"Very," replied Dr. Harper.

When Cragen arrived he approached Elliot and Doctor Harper outside of room 240A. Doctor Harper introduced himself and told Cragen a bit about the victim. "The victim is 41. She has significant bruising to her face. She is extremely defensive and won't let me examine her. It's possible her wrist is broken, judging by the swelling. Physically, she'll live. Emotionally, she needs help. She won't speak to Elliot, and we thought you would be our next best bet."

"Okay, what's her name?" asked Cragen.

"Olivia Benson," the doctor replied slowly.

All the color drained from Captain Donald Cragen's face. Suddenly, he seemed tired and angry. Elliot knew that on the inside, his captain was in a fit of rage. On the outside, he remained calm. He quietly nodded and slowly opened the door to room 240A.

As soon as she saw her captain, Olivia was in tears. "Captain, I-I'm so sorry. I forgot my gun at the precinct. I'm so sorry. I should've been more responsible. I-"

"Liv," He cut her off. "This isn't your fault. You survived. That's -"

"All that matters, I know. But I'm a cop! I should be able to defend myself. I'm not some random girl off the streets at nine o'clock! I'm an NYPD detective! I should know how to defend myself, and I should know to bring my gun everywhere. Even without a gun, I'm supposed to be able to defend myself! Captain, I'm so sorry," she cried.

"Olivia, this is not in any way, shape, or form your fault. We're going to catch the man who did this, whether you give us a statement, or not," Cragen said angrily, knowing well that if they didn't have a complaining witness, they wouldn't be able to hold the man for long, much less make it to trial.

"Captain, I don't think I want to talk about it. I want to go home,"

"Olivia, how many times have you worked with a victim that didn't press charges and regretted it?"

"Well, a lot, but this is diff-"

"No, it's not different. You're not pressing charges because you're worried about what people might think of you. If anything, people are going to think you're the strongest, bravest person in the world,"

"I, um, I guess I could get a rape kit in case I change my mind later, but I already took a shower,"

"You know, if you give us your statement now, it'll be more reliable than if you tell us a month from now,"

"Fine, but I'm not pressing charges, and no one can know about this. Got it?"

Cragen nodded. "So what happened last night?"

"I was two blocks from home, and a man pulled me into an alley. He put his hand over my mouth. He shoved me into the concrete. I tried to get my gun, but it wasn't there. I left it at the precinct. God, I'm an idiot."

"Liv, what happened next?" Cragen asked.

"He took a knife and he cut my… my pants off," She said, with a tear rolling down her face.

"Then he unbuckled his p-pants, and he put a condom on. Then he," She hesitated, "He raped me,"

Olivia was now sobbing. She was terrified of what Cragen might do. Maybe he would fire her, or have her transferred. Maybe yell and say that she should have brought her gun. No matter what he did, she was sure he would be angry. She had no right to be so distraught.

"Olivia, do you need a minute?" He asked gently.

She knew if she stopped telling her story, she wouldn't be able to keep going later. She shook her head.

"He b-beat me until blood covered my face. He kicked me a few times, too. Then he ran off and left me in the alley."

"Did you get a good look at him?" Cragen asked.

"No. He was wearing a ski mask, a hoodie, and gloves. But he was around 5'9","

"Okay, thanks Liv. Do you want Elliot back in here while they do the rape kit?" Cragen asked.

"No." She replied promptly.

The SVU Captain began to make his way toward the door.

"Oh, and Captain?" Olivia called.

"Yes?"

"I want a new partner."


	5. The Agreement

Elliot couldn't hold back his tears. His best friend was screaming and crying in pain, and all he was doing was standing outside the door to her room. He couldn't help but think it was his fault that she raped in the first place. He had thought about offering to take her home that night, but decided against it when his wife had called to say Lizzie, his daughter, got in trouble at school. God, he should've driven her. Why? Why would he not- Elliot paused his thoughts for a moment and listened. The screaming stopped. Now, all he heard was whimpering. He saw two nurses and Doctor Harper exit the room. He knocked on the door and slowly entered the room.

"Liv, I'm sorry. I just wanted to help you. He threatened to take away your badge! What was I supposed to do?"

"You should've let him," she said, her voice weak.

"I could never do that to you," He replied.

"I'm not gonna be good at my job anymore, anyway. I won't be able to talk to victims without thinking about what he did to me and breaking down," she cried.

"You know, maybe if you talked to Huang, he could help you to get back to doing your job," He suggested.

Olivia turned to face her partner. "Look, I'm sorry I overreacted. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. Thanks for helping me," she said softly.

"You don't have to apologize. I should've asked you before telling Doctor Harper. You had every right to yell at me. Also, our job is to bust perps and protect each other. You don't have to thank me for doing my job,"

"But still, I feel kinda bad that you had to waste your day taking me to the hospital when I should've gone myself,"

"Olivia, you did NOT waste my day,"

"El, I'm sorry, I just-"

"If you really feel this bad about it, you could do me a favor," He said.

"Anything,"

"Talk to Huang and press charges,"

"Anything else?"

"Nope,"

"El, I don't know. I mean, he's gonna let it slip somehow. He'll tell Fin or Munch, and pretty soon the whole NYPD will know,"

"Olivia, haven't you ever heard of doctor-patient privilege?" Elliot said with a smirk.

"No, seriously. What if someone overhears? What if everyone finds out? Oh my God! What if the man who attacked me finds out and comes back?" Olivia cupped her hand over her mouth.

"I'll tell you what. You can stay at my place as long as you need, but only if you press charges and see Huang," said Elliot.

"I, um, I guess I can take you up on that offer," She said.

"Alright then! Let's head home!" He said cheerfully.

"Okay," She said, with her first smile since her attack.

**I realize the chapter is short, but I think more happened in this chapter than chapters 2, 3, and 4 put together. Anyways, I've decided to start putting chapters out every Saturday. Thank you to all who have given me reviews! I really, deeply appreciate each one of them. They really motivate me and keep me writing, so make sure you guys leave some more. Thanks for reading, and make sure to check back next Saturday!**


	6. The Precinct

When Olivia and Elliot got back to Olivia's apartment, she packed enough of her possessions to last her about two weeks. Elliot silently sat on her couch for about ten minutes while she packed. When she came out of her bedroom with her duffel bag, Elliot stood up.

"You ready?" He asked her.

"Yep, let's go," she replied.

While they were walking to the car, Olivia tripped on the sidewalk and fell. When Elliot realized what had happened, he sprinted over to her.

"Olivia! Liv! You okay?" He yelled, desperation filling his voice.

"El, I'm fine! Jesus!" She replied, annoyed.

"Are you sure?" He said, kneeling down to make sure.

"Yes! My God! I just tripped! It's not that big a deal!" She practically shouted at him.

He stood up quickly. "I'm sorry," he said. He offered his hand to help her up. She refused the hand and got up on her own.

"Whatever," she muttered.

When they got in the car, Elliot noticed a cut on her knee that was bleeding.

"You're –" He began to say. The look of anger and annoyance in Olivia's eyes made him think twice.

"Nevermind," He sighed.

When Elliot unlocked the door to his apartment, he immediately brought Olivia's bag into his room and placed it on his bed. Then, he came back out with sheets and couple pillows. He put them on the couch.

"So, does Chinese sound good for dinner?" He asked.

"Uh, yeah," Olivia replied.

"Do you want to start a movie while I order?"

"Sure," She replied, already thinking of movies that she hadn't yet seen.

He handed her the remote as he took out his phone, while Olivia selected Netflix and began to look at comedies.

They started the movie and sat down on the couch when the food arrived about ten minutes later.

The second Olivia sat back down on the couch after putting away her dishes, she fell asleep. Elliot didn't notice until he began to comment on the movie, and he saw her closed eyes. He smiled slightly as he stopped the movie. He picked up Olivia and brought her into his bedroom. He placed her gently on his bed. He covered her with the blankets and went back into his living room to sleep on his couch.

Elliot woke up to screaming. He checked his watch, which read 2:00. He quickly ran into his room, where he saw Olivia still asleep, screaming for someone to stop.

"STOP! PLEASE, NO! STOP!" She screamed.

"Liv, wake up!" He said, as he reached across the bed and placed his hand on her shoulder to gently shake her awake.

When her eyes opened, she continued to scream.

"Please! No, please! Stop!" She screamed, as she kicked and clawed at Elliot.

"Olivia, it's me! It's Elliot!" He shouted over her screams. "It's me!"

"E-Elliot?" She squinted her eyes. "I-I'm sorry. I'm so sorry! I didn't hurt you, did I? I'm so sorry!"

"No, no Liv, It's not your fault. No, Liv, I'm fine," He assured her, as he saw her beginning to cry.

She reached out and gave him a hug, and she began to cry into his chest. Elliot softly sighed and hugged her back.

"Shhhhh. It's alright. You're okay," He gently reassured her.

After about an hour, Olivia was asleep again. Elliot decided to catch a few more hours of sleep before work.

Elliot woke up at 5:00 in the morning. The first thing he did was to go to make sure Olivia was okay. He noticed Olivia whimpering softly while lying in bed facing away from the door.

"Liv?" Elliot whispered softly.

"Yeah?" Olivia choked out.

"How long have you been up?" he asked.

"About an hour. I didn't want to wake you up."

Elliot immediately felt horrible. "Liv, next time it's okay to wake me,"

"Okay,"

"Do you want me to stay home today?"

"No, go to work," She replied instantly.

"Okay. I'll see you when I get back." He said softly.

"Okay,"

He felt horrible about leaving her all alone, but he knew Olivia would be mad if he stayed home for the day to babysit her. He got some clothes and got dressed in the bathroom. He made Olivia an egg and put it in the refrigerator for later. Next, he left a note saying he would talk to Huang about coming over to talk to Olivia later that evening. Then, he left.

**_AT THE PRECINCT_**

"Hey, Stabler!" Fin called.

"Yeah?" Stabler answered.

"How's Liv doing?"

Elliot's eyes widened. How could Cragen tell him? Didn't he know how much he could hurt Olivia by telling people? "She's uh… okay, considering what happened, I guess,"

"Wh-what happened?" Fin asked.

"Oh, uh, nothing," said Elliot, realizing that Cragen had probably only told him that Olivia was sick.

"Stabler, seriously, what happened?"

"Fin, you're going to have to ask her. It's not really my place to tell people," Elliot replied. "And it's late. I need to get home."

"Okay…"

As Elliot got into his car, he took out his phone. He dialed Dr. Huang's number. He heard the call switch over to his car's hands-free.

"Elliot?"

"Hey George, I need a favor," began Elliot.

"What do you need?" George asked.

"It's about Olivia," He said.


End file.
